the remedy

i haven't been very stable recently... tears well up in my eyes and blur my vision without warning, i choke a little to hold back... the numbness in my heart doesn't feel like a hot iron searing but like when a sharp blade cuts, you don't feel the pain initially but then the blood starts oozing out... there is a deep feeling of dread that comes from my gut... the more i think the more i feel overwhelmed, the more i feel overwhelmed, the more depressed it get... i try to think logically, but some things defy logic... i look to the Bible, it has the answer, at least one half of it... but the truth is not always easy nor is doing the right thing... especially when man have devised many other solutions...

but i discovered a remedy yesterday, no matter what we are going through in life, all it takes is one look at the Saviour and how blessed we are to be in Him...

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me 

- excerpt from 'Who Am I?" by Casting Crowns

fashion prude

yayyyyyyy! finally!

JOY

i experienced a rare feeling on saturday... somewhere inside the chest, towards the center, slightly higher up from where one would feel hunger. it happened while singing, during teens' club meeting. it was brought about by the sight of the children (mostly round-faced and sweaty), singing at the top of their lungs and earnestly trying to follow the actions. it was at that exact moment that i realised there was no where else in the world i would rather have been... how i pray that these young ones will come to know and love the Lord Jesus... these young ones who brink on innocence, so prone to being naughty and going the wrong way due to lack of guidance and proper upbringing... o Lord, use me to make a difference.

Soo Aun’s Plea

Dear friend,

I may have known you since school days or only just met you recently but I consider you a friend and that’s why you are receiving this plea. No, I am not into direct sales or MLM or any get-rich-quick scheme. There are just a few thoughts that I would like to share with you.

I’m sure at some point or other you would have wondered what you are doing with your life. We used to be young and had our whole lives ahead of us. Now when we meet, we talk about children and how quickly time flies and realize that we are still young but that life is passing fast. It’s always great to reminisce school days and laugh at things we did. But we also now look back and consider decisions we made in our lives and how things are working out. Some mistakes, some wise moves, sometimes thinking what would have happened if we took a different route.

Ok, so I’m getting old and long winded. So let me get to the point. We spend many hours each day working to earn money to sustain our lifestyle. We acquire a house and a car and more. We save some and spend some and invest some. We try and plan wisely for our future and our children’s future. We make sure we have savings for when we retire one day. My point is that we spend so much time and energy working towards something that will not last forever. How long can we live? 90? 100? That is a very short time if we consider history and we realize that we are here for only a brief moment. Which brings me to the point of this letter, my plea...

If you have put some thought into life, you would realize that things that are meaningful and priceless are relationships. Our family, our friends, people whom we cherish. Sadly, how often we hurt those we love the most. But I urge you to take some time to consider your relationship with someone special. Someone of outmost importance. The person who created you. “Ok,” you say, “now I know Soo Aun is a confirmed nutcase.” But hear me out before you trash this letter. You may call me a preacher or a fanatic or anything you want, but it is only because I treasure you as a friend that I am willing to risk that to bring your attention to this matter. Because it is very important.

My plea is that you take some time to search and discover for yourself, the truth of what it all means. I challenge you to invest a little time in things that will last for eternity¹, because when we die, we will not just disappear into nothingness. Although our bodies may rot, our spirit will live on. That is the difference between humans and animals. And that is also why we have an inborn desire to know and to worship God. We do not see animals praying to a tree or a bigger animal. But humans do. And I implore you to not worship other creation but to discover a relationship with the creator of all things.

I believe that Jesus is God, and he created the universe. But because man disobeyed God, he sinned and is now destined to hell². However, because God loves man, Jesus came to this earth as a human in order to die in our place, because he is sinless³. And because he is God, he rose from the dead. But most importantly, his finished work means that if anyone believes in him and receives him as their Lord and Savior, they have a living relationship with God and will not go to hell but have eternal life with Him³. I believe that the Bible is the Word of God and it reveals to us the person of Jesus and all that we need to know about Him.

I sincerely hope that you will consider these things that I have said. And take time to discover the truth about yourself and God. For it is most important. And although the next time we meet, you may look at me funny, it is still the same me lah…

Your friend,

sooaun.

1. “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

2. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” Matthew 6:23

3. “But God demonstrates His own love towards us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” Matthew 5:8

4. “…if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9

back to the garden....

planning to spend the holiday tomorrow setting up my vegetable plot... the only problem is i'm too lazy to go into all the details... information online has everything from crop rotation schedules to how to make compost but all i want to do is plant the plant and watch it grow... and then watch it die... how depressing... a few of my plants have been dying, some are infested with white flies and i know some of them are being sucked dry by aphids... can you imagine the list of garden pests and disease?

Aphids

Apple Sawfly

Big Bud Mite

Bird Protection

Bitter Pit

Black Spot

Botryitis

Brown Rot

Cabbage Caterpillars

Cabbage Root Fly

Cabbage Whitefly

Cane Spot

Canker

Club Root

Codling Moth

Flea Beetles

Foot and Root Rot / Fusarium

Gooseberry Sawfly

Honey Fungus

Mangold Fly

Mildew

Moles

Mosaic Virus

Onion Fly

Onion Eelworm

Plum Sawfly

Raspberry Beetle

Rats

Red Spider Mite

Reversion Disease

Rust

Sawfly

Scab

Sclerotina Rot

Silver Leaf

Slugs!!

Spur Blight

Squirrels

Swift Moth

Vine Weevil

White Fly

White Rot

White Tip

Winter Moth

Wirestem

Wireworm

Woolly Aphid

truly depressing indeed...

these make me happy :D

can't get enough of the water hyacinths...


nothing beats getting a parcel in the post... what more if it's from your lil sista in UK! :)


first cherry on the cherry tree from pa and mum... cheryl has since eaten it ;)


when titus comes to visit! hehe... i mean, when guna and chin ai bring titus over :P

tomatoes in the tummy :)

hahaha.... i have to transplant the tomato plant into the ground or else we will only have this much cherry tomatoes to eat!

a vow that i will keep (by God's grace)

vows are very serious matters in the Bible... and rightly so... here's one i took some time back...

In the presence of God, and these witnesses, I, Soo Aun, take thee Cheryl, to be my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part, according to God’s
ordinance of marriage.

also...

Wilt thou, Soo Aun, have this woman to be thy lawful wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her? Comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her as long as you both shall live?

I Will!

hurt and responsibilities...

why do we hurt? becos we do not get what we expect? why do the ones who love us most hurt us most? becos we expect the most from them? so, if someone hurts you, is it really their fault? maybe we shouldn't have expected so much from them...

but where is the line between expectation and responsibility? little Amy is hurting because her daddy doesn't have time for her. she expects her daddy to have time for her. is she expecting too much? isn't it her daddy's responsibility to spend time with her? so, it's her daddy's fault that she's hurting...

so, the expectation is dependent on the responsibility. if you have a certain responsibility then the expectation is that you fulfill that responsibility responsibly.

but can we live up to those responsibilities? i always argue that that is the difference between adults and children. children can get away with many things because they are immature and have to learn responsibility. children have to be taught and given responsibilities so that when they become adults they will be responsible. and adults have to be responsible for their actions that's why there are consequences to the things we do.

of course we still see adults who behave and live like immature children. they do and say things without weighing the consequences, and hurt people in the process...

so, as responsible mature adults, we have to sit down and consider our responsibilities. i tried doing this and realised that i have many. here are some examples. are you a...

son/daughter?
parent?
husband/wife?
in-law?
uncle/aunty?
nephew/niece?
cousin?
friend?
colleague?
neighbour?
employer/employee?
teacher/mentor?
student?
and the list goes on depending one how much you have going on in your life...

and for each of those relationships/positions we have responsibilities. are you fulfilling them?

flowers!

first bird of paradise flower! many more new shoots coming up...


see, even weeds have pretty purple flowers, how to pull out?


old man's darling, doing quite well in the ground... the ones in the pot are drying up :(


passion fruit flower! sorry for the lousy night shot, so far only seen it bloom at night. by day time it's all closed up... Cheryl's dad says the plant gets its name from the passion of Christ cos the flower has a cross in the middle and the sides are like the crown of thorns...

cracked pot plant

doesnt it look forlorn? i moved the pot from the shelf out to the open because the leaves were all straining towards the sun and they looked so messy. also, the color seemed to be changing to a faded green... we noticed small new leaves growing and realised one thing... the old has to make way for the new... so after pulling out all the old leaves we have a fresher looking pot of cracked pots!

baby tomatoes

These shots were taken over a month's time and they look like their ready to be eaten soon! Need to transplant the entire plant to the ground if it's gonna survive, cos the pot it's in is too shallow and it doesn't get enough water even tho i water it morning and night ;)